Oh.. oh my little blog. I've neglected you. And, since you are me, I must have been neglecting me, too. I'm horrible at this double-entendre thing.
Is that a hybrid word? Half French and Half English? Double entendre. Am I even spelling it right? How do I know I'm using it correctly in a sentence? If the word means that something has more than one meaning, or that the meaning has a hidden meaning or something like that..... then does it matter if I use it correctly? I can just say that they way I say it is the OTHER way of using it.
Ok so this is going to be my confessional. I encourage anyone reading this to become my therapist. Just tell me what my problems are. Just lay it on the line.
It disturbs me when Angela Landsbury does the voice-over for Jello Cups. It's also irritating when some british voice-over becomes the voice of Kleenex Cottenelle Toilet Paper. I don't think that Jello or Toilet Paper should have personalities.
I want what I've had and I've wanted what I have and I didn't want what I was getting and I got what I was getting by having what I had.
I want to be confusing I want to be a double-entendre. I want to be the exception. I want to fit in. I don't want anything.
Would someone please give me something? Just hand it over. Just GIVE ALREADY.
posted by Customized Chaos at 3:50 PM
I had something to say. I forgot what it was.
posted by Customized Chaos at 7:44 PM
I think I'm not as evolved as the rest of you human beings. I can't multitask. I can't watch TV and blog at the same time. I can't carry on a conversation and water plants at the same time. I can't work and date at the same time. It's either all or nothing.
Isn't that the motto from the Three Musketeers? Didn't Brian Adams and Sting and some other cluck have a lame video about it?
I can't have long term memory and short term memory at the same time.
posted by Customized Chaos at 3:53 PM
I locked lips with a guy last night. I'm right back into my oral phase.
posted by Customized Chaos at 2:58 PM
I hate people that think they're unique. I hate when people think they're special. Or remarkable. Or deserving. What happened to self-effacing destructive humility? What happened to being modest once in awhile?
I was at this "team-building" leadership conference activity thing yesterday and it was led by a group of adventure racers (like the eco challenge) that turn into corporate motivators in the offseason. It was some of the same guys from last year. Or at least the 2 cute guys were the same 2 cute guys from last year. Anyway, in one of the breakout sessions I was with my small group of people that I work with and we needed to go around the group saying what was unique about ourselves. Over and over. So the challenge was to share what you think is unique about yourself. And then later on you share what you're proud of in yourself. And not that I think so highly of myself, but (if possible) I think less of the people I work with now that they've all shared with me. They're idiots. They can't think of things that are unique. One guy said "I used to bake cookies for a living." Interesting, yes. Unique, no. And then it turned into some sick competition. I won't get into the details, but apparently one of the guys on my little team thought it was appropriate to share wth us that he has a large mole on his testicals. Oh, and unique too.
What is unique? Am I unique? I don't belong to a cult or organized religion or a collective or even a support group. I know I'm an individual. But am I unique? I'm a mass of cells, just like everyone else. I have a DNA signature that's unlike anyone elses, besides a clone or an identical twin. But am I unique? I like to read. Does that make me unique? One of a kind? Priceless?
I don't think people should think of themselves as objects. Unique seems to be a word best used with inanimate objects. Manmade even. OF COURSE I'M FUCKING UNIQUE! WE ALL ARE!
Holding hands and talking about myself is not an activity I enjoy. I like listening to other people talk about themselves as a structured activity even less. I like listening to other people talk about how unique it is to go two months without sex as a structured activity even less than that. Keep it to yourself. Shut up. You're an idiot. Get a brain. Get a life.
All my irritation buttons got pushed yesterday. I came home and ate fried chicken and slept for 12 hours after. I'm going on Prozac next week.
And that's not unique.
posted by Customized Chaos at 12:53 AM 